When Love Arrives

Girl & Boy: I knew exactly what love looked like- in seventh grade. Girl: Even though I hadn’t met love yet, if love had wandered into my homeroom I would’ve recognized him at first glance. Love wore a hemp necklace. Boy: I would’ve recognized her at first glance, love wore a tight french braid. Girl:  Love played acoustic guitar and knew all my favorite Beatles songs. Boy: Love wasn’t afraid to ride the bus with me. Both: And I knew, Girl: I just must be searching the wrong classrooms, Boy: just must be checking the wrong hallways, she was there, I was sure of it. Girl: If only I could find him.

Both: But when love finally showed up, Boy: she had a bow cut. Girl: He wore the same clothes every day for a week. Boy: Love hated the bus. Girl: Love didn’t know anything about The Beatles. Both: Instead, every time I try to kiss love, our teetch got in the way. Girl: Love became the reason I lied to my parents. Boy: I’m going to- Ben’s house. Girl: Love had terrible rhythm on the dance floor, but made sure we never missed a slow song. Boy: Love waited by the phone because she knew that if her father picked up it would be: Girl: “Hello? Hello? I guess they hung up.”

And love grew, stretched like a trampoline. Boy: Love changed. Girl: Love disappeared, slowly, like baby teeth, losing parts of me I thought I needed. Boy: Love vanished like an amateur magician, and everyone could see the trapdoor but me. Girl: Like a flat tire, there were other places I planned on going, Both: but my plans didn’t matter. Girl: Love stayed away for years, and when love finally reappeared, I barely recognized him. Boy: Love smelt different now, had darker eyes, a broader back, love came with freckles I didn’t recognize. Girl: New birthmarks, a softer voice.Boy: Now there were new sleeping patterns, new favorite books. Girl: Love had songs that reminded him of someone else, songs love didn’t like to listen to. Both: So did I.

Boy: But we found a park bench that fit us perfectly, we found jokes that make us laugh. Girl: And now, love makes me fresh homemade chocolate chip cookies. But love will probably finish most of them for a midnight snack. Boy: Love looks great in lingerie but still likes to wear her retainer. Girl: Love is a terrible driver, but a great navigator. Boy: Love knows where she’s going, it just might take her two hours longer than she planned. Love is messier now, not as simple. Girl: Love uses the words “boobs” in front of my parents. Boy: Love chews too loud. Girl: Love leaves the cap off the toothpaste. Boy: Love uses smiley faces in her text messages. Both: And turns out, love shits!

Girl: But love also cries. And love will tell you you are beautiful and mean it, over and over again. Boy: You are beautiful. Girl: When you first wake up, Boy: “you are beautiful.” Girl: When you’ve just been crying, Boy: “you are beautiful.” Girl: When you don’t want to hear it, Boy: “you are beautiful.” Girl: When you don’t believe it, Boy: “you are beautiful.” Girl: When nobody else will tell you, Boy: “you are beautiful.” Girl: Love still thinks- you are beautiful. But love is not perfect and will sometimes forget, when you need to hear it most, Boy: you are beautiful, Girl: do not forget this.

Boy: Love is not who you were expecting, love is not who you can predict. Girl: Maybe love is in New York City, already asleep, and you are in California, Australia, wide awake. Maybe love is always in the wrong time zone, maybe love is not ready for you. Boy: Maybe you are not ready for love. Maybe love just isn’t the marrying type. Maybe the next time you see love is twenty years after the divorce, love is older now, but just as beautiful as you remembered. Girl: Maybe love is only there for a month. Maybe love is there for every firework, every birthday party, every hospital visit. Boy: Maybe love stays- Girl: maybe love can’t. Both: Maybe love shouldn’t.

Boy: Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to, and love leaves exactly when love must. Girl: When love arrives, say, “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.” Boy: If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her. Girl: Turn off the music, listen to the quiet, whisper, Both: “Thank you. Thank you for stopping by.”
Sarah Kay + Phil Kaye

Glass Wall

Clock ticking

Standing in the dark

Waiting impatiently

Heart pounding

I am burning.

Then I saw the light,

I feel the warmth

Shattering silence

Moment that I can call my own

Was it happiness that I found?

Were you aware?

The way you stare,

I’m a BIG puzzle.

It haven’t even started yet,

My eyes were a gloomy nest

Desire subsided, passion vanished.

Why does it have to end too soon?

I looked up the sky,

There seemed to be a never ending bridge.

Lights starting to fade away

Shall I follow?

Crossed the street, tried to reach out

Only to find out I can follow no more

There was a thick glass wall,

Then I frosted.

I turned my back, tears were falling

I was hurting, Am I to blame?

Everything is much clearer now.

I looked back at the glasswall,

All that was left was darkness.

Have You Ever Felt Neglected by Your Father?

Have you ever felt neglected by your Dad? I have.  Have you ever felt like he was a monstrous beast who keeps invading your private life? I have. Have you ever blamed your father for all the mishaps in your life? I have. Have you ever felt that you deserve a better father, better than the one you have? I have.

But did you ever ask your father the same thing? I never did. Did you ever make the effort to know exactly what he is going through? I never did. Did you ever make your father feel important in your life? I’m not so sure. But despite all these, I may never told him how much I loved him, I may never knew what he feels towards me on times that I didn’t realize the error of my ways, I may never believed his answers to my math assignments – which turns out to be correct, I may never, ever told him how much I cared but in my heart of hearts I knew for once that I made him so proud o’ me. 

This All Saints day, I wanna give something back to my father. Yes, I was a Daddy’s Girl. Not known to many, because I’m not showy, I admired and loved my father so much. He was the best father for me. As far as I’m concerned, he did everything he could just to give everything we, children, needs and wants. He wasn’t perfect though, but his imperfection makes him perfect for me. Don’t get it? Well, let’s just say that because of his imperfection I was able to see that he was no superman. I understand that he will not be there for me all the time, what he did was taught me to learn how to be a strong woman, to be courageous, and to simply fit-in without trying so hard so that I can survive tough times without him. 

I will always remember his generosity to other people, and of course to his children – especially me. Magastos kasi ako. He would always ask where I spent the money he gave me because no matter how big or small the amount is laging kulang, kapos! He would give me my weekly allowance on Mondays and come Friday nangungutang na ako. There was one time, I was with him on our  store, he was helping me with my math assignment – he was really, really good in math, just wasn’t so lucky to inherit such talent -  when this kid called to his name “Pay Jun!”, it was already 12 noon. Mangungutang pala ng bigas! My beloved father replied “bakit ngayon ka lang nagpunta? Alas dose na, hindi pa kayo nagsasaing?” his irritation was clear in his voice, probably for the parent of that kid. “Pa, wala na tayong bigas kaya!” I said. Meaning we don’t have a stock of rice for sale anymore. What my father did was gave the kid some amount so he could buy rice to another store. My admiration for him augmented.

 I will never forget how he would carry me in his back because I got tired from walking, and how he would turn our Village upside-down in search for his beloved daughter on midnights because I wasn’t home yet, of how to ride a Horse and a Carabao and guide it where to go – my father was a farmer.  And I would always remember times when he would tell me never to cry over spilled milk.

He was an honorable man - beyond words, wisdoms, acts, and beliefs. He said I was different from all of his daughter. I’m tough – because he taught me to be one; I’m intelligent – because I inherited it from him; I can easily fit in – because I learned his ways.

My father was many things, but he was never careless. He was a man of principles and many people could attest to that. He was gone for almost a year now, and those are just some of the unforgettable memories I shared with my Dad, which I will forever cherish. I was so lucky to be his daughter. He will forever reside in my heart. It’s true indeed you will only realize the value of a person when he’s gone.

I love you, Papa. - Morose

Changing Technology

I remember the days when apple and blackberry were just fruits. No cellular phones, no internet.  I remember school days spent in the school library than in front of my laptop or desktop monitor for my research assignments, when I have to borrow Mr. Webster from my cousin just to understand strange words in my textbooks rather than consulting Mr. Google’s weird translations. I remember my father’s weekly trip to Video City to rent VHS tapes and CD’s rather than downloading movies on torrent. I am fascinated by the pictures sent to me by my cousin’s from their trips abroad. I will never forget my grandma’s excitement every time she received a letter from her ‘apo’ in the U.S. And I can never forget those times when it was so difficult to do a long distance and overseas calls.

Those were the days...

Today, people are becoming internet savvy. With the freewheeling nooks and crannies on-line, it is easier for people to send and get information, and you’ll be fascinated how fast this information can reach to billions of on-line users. You’ll be amazed how pictures, videos, and data are transported in no time at all.  Information Technology is the most powerful single force of communication in our time. Whereas yesterday’s dominant broadcast media were about one-way conversation, the multidirectional internet is the opposite. No one controls its content – except for its users.

Is that bad?

For most people, including me, technology is viewed as an important means to be able to finish our daily activities and meet our deadlines efficiently; therefore, it is a need. However, there are people who are using technology for their unlawful, inhuman, and bad practices. People must learn to understand that while we gain so much from technology, it is also being exploited by others.

The use of technology expands our knowledge about what’s happening, what’s going on, in the world. It helps to open our eyes about the different possibilities that people can achieve. Information Technology in particular has broadened the human capacity in providing better education.  

Can you measure the limitations of technology?

While technology is making our daily life easier, you cannot just click on the different search engines and ask what you should do to become the next Steve Jobs, or the next Bill Gates.  It will provide you information but it will not teach you how to think. It will help you to keep your on-line friends but how about those people, your love ones who doesn’t go on-line? My mother doesn’t even know how to ‘text’.  The limit of technology varies from different people depending on their needs for technology.  Now, why don’t you make your own measurements?

Weebly is my new hub!

Weebly was just introduced by my college professor. It was difficult for me to customize it at first. I tried many times before i finally understand each customization tab. And since i still have to learn a lot to be able to get the web design that i really like, I searched for other weebly pages to get some idea on how to improve my site.

The first site that i found was a personal site, Cities and States. The color was catchy, maybe because i like red, and the words are readable yet it was too boring for me.It was plain and simple. The space around the boxed site is too wide. It can be used for other widgets, streamers and banners to promote his favorite websites and interest or link it to his other on-line sites like Facebook and Twitter.

 I searched again for another one, and finally find something really interesting. deArte Gallery is worth visiting, especially for those who are just starting. The overall color of every page blends perfectly. The website aims to promote nature lover artists and to increase their visibility by providing opportunities to showcase their artwork through online exhibitions as well as on-line art competitions. The gallery is also actively promoting artists to collectors, galleries, museums, journalists without accepting any commission. Collectors can buy art directly from the artist. The gallery promotes exclusively the energy raising art that spreads positive attitude and message.

I found out that their blog is linked to blogger and i wonder why because weebly has its own blogging page. I went on clicking other tabs and i also found out that the tutorials page is in blog format. I wanna change my website design into something like this one.

Again, I searched for another weebly site on Google, this time i found Cycle Stuff, an on-line store for trike kits that offers free shipping. I find this site unorganized. It's hard for first time on-line visitors to understand the whole plot because it is too crowded. I thought it was an on-line store for big bikes and motorcycle but i found out that they are only selling trike kits. Since I'm not really into this stuff, i asked Mr. Google's help to be able to understand the different term that I've encountered for the first time. And because the information needed was there, i think it is best for the web owner to spend sometime in improving this website.

All in all, this website 'trip' was a big help. I get some idea that i can use in improving my own site. I am now ready to edit my own website, Shanea: My Frienzied Life.

Leave your comments here or e-mail me @ shanealmejere@yahoo.com